$75,000 a piece … The Martin Jetpack.

The CB6000 chastity belt for naughty men

Who’s been a bad boy?

Our publisher Mike ran into this device at the Adult Entertainment

Expo in Las Vegas. It took him a good five minutes to work out

what it was for. “This is fascinating,” he thought to himself, “and it

really needs to be written up.

But certainly not by me.” So I’m not sure whether to take it as a

compliment or a measure of my character that he immediately

sent the story my way … anyway, in the interests of transparency,

I wish to point out before we get started that the only chastity

devices I have ever used have been my looks and my personality

– and even those powerful tools haven’t been very effective.

What Mike was looking at was the CB-6000 chastity belt for men.

Built from medical grade polycarbonate plastic, it’s a complicated

looking cage that fits around and over a gentleman’s tackle,

rendering the entire lunchbox more or less ornamental, except

for bathroom trips.

Both the shape and the way it locks on are designed to keep things

on the down-low, shall we say – or as Mike put it, “If you cracked a

trouser boner while wearing one of these, you’d do yourself

a serious injury.”

Certainly, when you hear the term “chastity belt” the female

version tends to spring to mind first, medieval devices that

were reportedly built by crusading knights to make sure their

wenches remained unplundered in their absence. But you’d

have to agree a male version makes just as much sense –

we lads certainly haven’t done a lot over the years to earn

the ladies’ trust, on average.

But the strange irony of the CB-6000 – and devices like it –

is that they’re designed to prevent sexual pleasure,

but they’re used … more or less … for sexual pleasure.

Submissive fellas seem to find great excitement in the idea

of power exchange – locking their tockleys in boxes,

giving the keys to their dominant partners and walking

around all day dangling a weighty reminder of who’s their daddy.

But the devices are marketed mainly at the ladies –

to quote the website (which is kept remarkably safe for work), ”

This is an extremely powerful and effective relationship device.

Become his fantasy once again.

He will think you are the sexiest thing in this world.

Wearing the chastity device can be extremely erotic …

after he has been in it for a short period of time,

he will again start kissing, caressing,

and basically be completely turned on by you.

He will worship the ground you walk on.

Men love power and knowing you have exchanged

this power will bring him to his knees.”

There’s something a little sad about the idea that

some men will only show tenderness to their partners

if they’re denied an easier source of sexual release –

but then, there’s something a little sad about a lot of

the ways we humans operate.

Of course, this sort of thing doesn’t have to be used for

kinky thrills or relationship fixes. I can vividly remember

a couple of embarrassing predicaments in the earlier

years of high school, in which I’d have given my right arm

for a technological solution like this – at least,

if that right arm wasn’t holding an exercise book over my crotch.

Ah, the memories.

The CB-6000 costs US$159.95. You can get it in clear plastic,

or if you don’t like that “bulldog with its face up against

a window” look, there’s a few color options.

For the outdoorsy gent, there’s a camouflage version;

you’ll never know where it went. If you like the idea of

sporting a terminator willy, go for the polished chrome.

Or my personal favorite – remind yourself of what

you’re missing out on with the wood finish.